Little Girl

A day like today. A cool breeze rolling across the land scape. The sun falls slowly to bring in the night, the war between light and dark has begun, the dark wins, only for a few. days like today, are the reason men like me are gone. The night shows up and we wander away from the home, into the breeze, feeding on the stars and and floating on the upcoming night.

little girl, tell me why you are crying? could it be that inside you are feeling something leaving you? is there a hope, a beacon of light for you in the future? In the distance we see you stare but what are you thinking right now? Is there any hope for any of us little girl? you know what’s going to happen? the bomb that’s falling? the sun that’s exploding? the sky that’s falling? tell me when the light no longer shines how will we see? how will we eat if we cant tell whether its bone or flesh we crave? What if i tell you i am nothing like the rst of them ? If I am different and running away, Can you tell me then what is going to happen to me? will there be a hope? a place of peace? in the end will i be able to trade in this life of evil and hate for a life of calm collective peace? tell me little girl, where am i heading ? can you help me find the right path here in this destructive life i lead?

when I have become something you nor I know of what It is, can you tell me still I make the smiles appear and the tears leave? I falter to find my own heart, how can you say I have helped yours?

Christ Punk Productions, A Punk for Christ

So I guess I’ll update you all a little bit on what I have been up to. A fair Warning, this post if full of what I believe is Faith at work.

Many of you probably know about how I love to film, and that I used to film on a very regular basis. Well, that may mean you also know how lately I have NOT been filming very often at all. I have been struggling with a choice, you see, I had a few options in front of me, the first being, I could continue filming in the name of Poison Studios and Failed Abriviation Productions, and continue down the path of associations like “Jackass” “Tom Green” and “CKY”, As fun as that had been, i was never gonna get anywhere with it aside from making a few laughs occur here and there, and not to mention that many of the things that went on when I filmed that sort of stuff, directly contradicted my Faith and beliefs. As a follower of Christ, I felt I needed to ween my self away from all that, as it didn’t support my “walk in life”.

One thing that happened though was that I lost a lot of friends, I lost more friends that I am willing to admit, but I had to do it, they were not helping me grow fruit, and were definitely part of the reason I was stuck in a rut, it was obvious upon looking at the situation from an outside perspective that I was being held into a constant circle of un-healthy drama and the associated guilt and sin that was pulled along.

Now the second choice I had was to give up filming and find a “way out” into a different walk of life and just forget about the thousands of hours I spent honing a skill, and showing off work, and producing video projects. I could obviously tell this was definitely not the route I wanted to go, but I didn’t have any Idea how I could hold onto this Passion of mine and use it in a way that could Honor the Lord.

Then I came to my third option, after pondering and praying and question for a long time, I felt the Lord talking to me, I felt as if he gave me a beacon. I felt the tug of the Lord, For many years I felt that the Lord wanted me to be directly involved in him with my Faith and in the Faith of others, but I pushed it out of my thoughts, because Honestly I felt that Missionary or “church work” was boring and that It wasn’t for me, but as I was sitting in church and heard my Pastor talking about using my talents for the Lord, It hit me like a rogue Frisbee, I was gonna produce a video for the Lord. After working on the project and watching it fall through due to a few different things, I gave up once more and started to doubt that I’d be able to keep my passion alive and still be able to honor the Lord. I found myself torn apart, crying some nights, there were two things I loved to do so much, but I couldn’t find a way to put them together. Then after a lot of meditation and prayer I decided to give it another shot, this time not making the mistake of jumping into huge project right away. I knew I needed to start small, so I decided I would start with a smaller task, maybe a little free lance video work.

Now here comes a new little twist, I found my self being strongly drawn in a “punk” Life style, not the simple black hair and chains punk, but the politically active radically different than everyone else kind of punk. I started becoming very involved with Politics on all levels, a state level, and country level. Was I directly involved with a lot of things? No, not really, but I did all I could non the less, I voiced my opinion and let it be heard, I rallied, and I protested, I even marched at the Republican National Convention. So now How was I gonna take a Culture I was involved in and allow that to mix in with my Christianity? Not only is most “punk” sub-cultures extremely agnostic, most punks view Christianity as the Exact opposite of what punk is supposed to represent! So now I had a Career Choice, a Goal, a Dream, that wasn’t working well with my Faith, I know had become involved with a large sub-culture that was darn near the 180 Degree Difference of it! Mind you, all the while this was going on, I was working on and in myself to become a “better” Christian, working on my Daily sins, and working to change myself to better Honor of the Lord. Now in this contradiction I had become involved in, is where I started to notice the Lord pulling even harder at me to continue on my path with filming.So I began to pray for Guidance, for inspiration and for Wisdom, to know what the Lord wanted me to do and how to do it. After some time had passed, I began to get some very unique opportunity, I managed to get my hands on my Dream Video camera, the camera I had wanted for a good 8 years, then not long after I managed to get my hands on a sizable amount of professional level audio equipment. So now i was sitting on enough video and audio equipment to start on some sort of serious project, but I still hadn’t received any guidance on what I was supposed to do with all this equipment, so I spent some time getting used to it and learning how to operate it all. After a little while I decided it was time to seek a little advice from my old pastor Peter, but The advice I was seeking though, was on how to overcome my recently developed panic attacks, and for a little prayer and study. After talking with Peter for a while, I brought up my recently acquired equipment, and I talked a bit about how I felt the Lord was pushing and pulling me to do some work for him. Peter being a crazy individual offered up a bit of advice, meditate in the word on it, then do something about it, I then remembered a verse I came upon whilst reading out of Mathew about the Parable of the Good Samaritan, and how I felt most people now-a-days were missing out on the whole “Go and do Likewise” part of Jesus’ teachings. So we discussed it a little while, and came to the conclusion I would maybe make a video about it. So once again, I found myself digging into the Word and praying,and through all of that God spoke to me, he told me over time, that I was going to aim my video at an “alternative” crowd. I was going to use my involvement as a political activist, and a punk as my gateway to put the Word of God into a community that normally scoffs at the notion of Jesus and God, that I was gonna show them through actions and through video that the Love of Jesus is real. Not only that, but I was gonna aim the majority of my work into all sorts of “alternative” crowds that we generally see being “shoed” away from the Church.

So now we come to where I am today, a Punk with an amazing love for God and the Love of Jesus. I am a punk For Christ, as a Christian I am a representative here on Earth. And thus the Creation of my New filming company, a Name that represents the Christian aspect of my life and a name that shows I am not the Everyday “Sunday” Christian.

I’m James Paine, I am a Punk For Christ