Can dreams really Break?

I have spent the past 8 years of my life learning about and filming everything, from scenery, to crimes, to friends, to fights, to stunts, to actual laid out scripted movies, but my parents both continue to tell me, it is a waste of my life. My mother will look at my finished products halfidly (had to make up a word for this), and then tells me she thinks it is “neat” my step father won’t even watch my stuff and tells me it is a waste of my time, and worse a waste of his time. My sister seems to be the only one who looks to me and thinks maybe he can be something. she will watch my movies and isnt afraid to tell me, yeah this one sucked or this one is really good, and a lot of the time she takes copies of them and shows her friends. I think the only reason my sister is so nice about it is, she is seven years older than me, and has already grasped onto her dream and isnt letting go, She got through everything with my parents tearing her down and telling her she couldn’t do it, and I think she is just trying to support me so i don’t give up either. She got through college and is now currently Employed in her dream, so she is a lucky one.

But I guess that means there is only one lucky one in the family, cause today my mom sat me down and told me very straight up, she doesnt think I have talent, or a chance at all to do this. She told me to just give up on my dream and to find something else I like. She wants me to go to school for business and before that work at a factory so i can have a “real”job. One that requires hard labor and possible back injuries, cause that means i am a “real man”. Gosh,

SO i see my self going back to a post I made a long time ago somewhere else, about how the only people with the posabilities to follow their dreams are spoiled, and rich kids. But I mean why should they? they get lifehanded to them on a Frikin silver plate, and that isnt good enough so they piss and moan until they get a platinum plate and then their dreams are followed or done, they are frikin handed to them. but NO they can’t do it themselves. so they frikin Make someone else do it. They rub it in others faces. A frikin rich kid who wants to film movies in his backyard and has a grand allowance every week, goes onto eBay see’s a young person trying to start up a small filming Studio and get his first Prosumer camera, See’s a camera that looks “cool” doesn’t know a thing about it, but Buys it anyway. out bids the other by hundreds of dollars.. and why is this? So it can end up wasting away in a closet when the kid decides he doesn’t want to film anymore cause it is boring and takes to much work. Meh, Frikin lame. Life is all about showing, and making it very obvious, the undeserving always get what they want, and those who work and struggle barely ever make it by. Dreams are broken and shattered.

Band Of Brothers: A hope For My “brothers”

Band Of Brothers So I finally got a chance to watch the last of episode of Band Of Brothers. And if you don’t know what that is, it is a RE-enactment of This company during World War 2, and it is Extremely Accurate, they had the remaining survivors of the company Re live it for them, and then they turned it into a movie, and it is extremely long, it covers their actions through out the ENTIRE war, during the Germany, and pacific theater time.

well, so in this last episode it just shows how tight Knit this group of friends got, and how they really were a BAND OF BROTHERs, and the last few minutes of the show are the remaining survivors, talking individually about each other and how much they really loved each other, and it was amazing, I was sitting there listening to the narrator talk about what each person from that company ended up doing after they went home, and I started to cry, and then when the Actual veterans came on ad started to talk, I just coulden’t help but to keep crying. It is amazing they were so close, and they all were just impacted so much by each other and the things they went through, and they all still remember everything that happened. which in itself is a blessing and a Curse, cause it makes them remember their losses, but remember how much they all were there for eachother..

But so.. I guess.. I want to know.. why can’t my friends be like that. given, we arnt veterans, and never will be, and we haven’t been through something as big as a war together, but I mean I watched this and it just makes me so mad at all of us. We all just don’t even understand what it is to REALLY be a friend.. these men had to go through a WAR and watch their Brothers Die to learn that lesson. How are we supposed to, when as soon as one of us walks away, the rest of us talk and bash him..

It makes me sick…

but I guess there is always hope for some real people..
I just hope I have found them…
I want to be a band of Brothers,.., I want to be.. family..

Here is the Clip this is all about

Crackpipes, Needles, PCP, and fast cars.

Well so here I am. Last Night I filmed a show for a local Donation run business called Somewhere Else. The Band that played there was this band from out of state called The Screaming TeaPots. They were really good. After I filmed the show I figured i should get some interviews from all the members of the band, being seven in total. Well the “venue” decided to order pizza for the band, me and all the remaining fans that were hanging out.  So after the interviews and conversing with all the of the members of the band, I ended up eating pizza with them. A member of the band and me ended up getting into a discussion on being a freegan. Well basically what this is, is “if it is free, I eat it.” That is what he said, and i thought about that for a few seconds and realized, I am also a freegan, and then he made the comment, “I love such a simple life” and it made me think a bit, what if that’s how everything was, Like.. free, and we didn’t have to worry about where to sleep or where we could eat next..

but that’s beside the point. Basically i just wanted to say, I had a blast last night, and met some really Rad people. and well Thanks, we had a goo discussion and stuff.. it was fun. hope to do it again soon.